Fast Food Giants Rearrange Animals 978 Ways Instead Of Offering Just One Vegan Entrée

By Stuart Swanson

Article XVII

April 6, 2019

Hoping that empathy and compassion are a passing fad, “fast food” pals Blandy’s, McWrongald’s and Unlucky Fried Chicken continued the easy strategy of feeding Americans the same few items over and over again forever.

Fortunately for these big companies, most people will eat whatever is in front of them without really thinking about where it comes from, and are content with eating a “new” menu item even if it’s the same thing they’ve had their whole life, as long as it’s renamed every few years.

Management plans to blame employees, not growing awareness, for empty parking lot.

When the general population is still on board with that, it makes it very easy to just continue making tired combinations out of really just chickens, cows and pigs, and whatever those 3 animals can squirt out.

And according to marquees across the country, the combinations are endless. For example, at Blandy’s you can now order a Triple Homicide on the River, which is a bacon cheeseburger, with two additional cheeseburgers placed inside — all of which is placed on a little bacon raft that’s sort of floating on a river of cheese.

That might sound like a school science project, but it fits on a tray and people eat it.

Some of the biggest chains have noticed that people are trying to be healthier, though, and are trying to cut back on meat consumption, but they’re still addicted to cheese because it’s salty and everywhere, just like people. So they’re offering “new” options for those people. Like at Unlucky Fried Chicken, you can get a CCB: Chicken & Cheese Bucket — but if you are trying to cut back on meat, you can just order a CB, which is actually a full bucket of cheese.

And of course there are hundreds of different types of burgers as well, in fact, too many to list. But if you want something different than a rearranged burger, you can get a bunch of fries loaded with different variations of the same stuff that would have just gone on the burger.

The list goes on, but don’t look for more examples here in this article, just drive down any street and see for yourself.

If you’re trying to avoid ALL animal products though, not to worry, because change is already happening somewhere else. Some of these major chains are now offering vegan options at one or two locations in Finland, which is only a few thousand miles away. Or, if you don’t have your passport, you can try an obscure fast food chain that offers an option just 145 miles away in the country you do live in. Or, if you just want french fries, you can eat almost anywhere except McWrongald’s, which dips all of their fries in a vat of oil and animal juice.