Not Enough Sarcastic News Sites, Study Finds


By Stuart Swanson

Article 0

June 27th, Current Year


After 22 years of full-time research without pay, on Tuesday night at 7:52pm, life-long nobody Stuart Swanson concluded that there weren’t enough news sites dedicated to the art of sarcastic news reporting.  Currently there are just over 1 million sites dedicated to the craft, but he’d like to see it hit 7 billion by next year (whatever year you’re reading this.)

“One way we can reach this goal is if every person on Earth runs their own fake news site, and I think we can do it,” he said to nobody.

“I think we can do it,” he said to nobody.

The author then repeated himself, hoping that most people would understand that the repetition was on purpose.

Wasting no time, or arguably wasting everyone’s time, he then proceeded to publish his first article.  It’s this article.  You’re almost done reading it.

Anyway, Stuart Swanson hopes you enjoy The Trues, available now and always at StuartSwanson.com and maybe other places in the future.

Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

and now… the first articles of The Trues!


SNOOZE BUTTON NOW WORLD’S MOST POPULAR BUTTON:

“… thanks to rising inflation, lower
incomes, overbearing supervisors with
single-family homes and nice cars, elections,
police brutality, pet deaths, celebrity deaths,
facebook, recycled entertainment and …”


MAN FEELS BAD FOR FRIEND’S DEAD DOG FOR 12 SECONDS:

“… Then, just moments after posting this heart-warming comment, Stuart Swanson had no choice but to continue scrolling through Facebook, and within just 6 seconds, again saw the funny viral video of a different, living animal that was …


loser wins race to stoplight

“… Nobody else knew there was even a race.  Everyone else just figured they should relax and drive safely, maybe even enjoy the nice weather outside while listening to the blues on the radio.  But Sparky had other plans, impatiently …

 

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